🦛

GEORGE IS
A GLOP

A Documented History of the Glopapotomus

🌿 Man Extrax Owner · Certified Glop · Since 1996
↓ The Evidence ↓

THE GLOP TIMELINE

From birth to certified Glopapotomus

1996
🍼 A Glop Is Born
Somewhere in Michigan, the universe makes its most questionable decision. George enters the world. Doctors immediately sense something unusual. Scientists would later classify it as a "glop event."
Day 1 of Gloppage
2001
📚 Elementary Glop
George attends school. Teachers notice he has opinions about everything and is inexplicably confident about all of them. Early signs of the Glopapotomus begin to emerge.
Academic Glop
2008
🏀 The Middle School Era
George discovers he has a personality. Debatable. Still very much a glop. Attempts to be cool. Succeeds approximately 12% of the time. The other 88% — pure, uncut glop.
Adolescent Glop
2011
🎓 High School Gloppage
Peak glop years. George navigates high school with the grace of a hippopotamus parallel parking. Makes friends. Makes bad decisions. The Glopapotomus characteristics are now fully documented.
Documented Glop
2014
💼 Early Hustle, Full Glop
George enters the workforce. Tries various things. Has ideas. Some are good. Most are glop. But you can't deny the man's commitment to the vision — even when the vision is deeply, profoundly glop.
Professional Glop
2017
🌿 Cannabis Industry Entry
George discovers his calling: the cannabis industry. He takes to it naturally — possibly because the industry itself is run by people who are, at least partially, also glops. A match made in heaven.
Industry Glop
2020
🦠 Pandemic Gloppage
The world shuts down. George does not slow down. In fact, George levels up. While others baked bread, the Glopapotomus was building his empire. Respect. Still a glop. But a productive glop.
Pandemic Glop Survivor
2022
📈 The Rise Begins
George starts making serious moves in the cannabis space. People around him start to say things like "George is onto something" and "I can't believe that glop is actually doing it." He is. He always was.
Rising Glop
2024
🚀 Man Extrax — Ownership
George becomes owner of Man Extrax. A fully licensed, legitimate cannabis operation. The Glopapotomus has arrived. He did it his way — loud, stubborn, a little ridiculous, and completely unstoppable.
CEO Glop 👑
2026
🦛 Certified Glopapotomus
Today, George stands as the owner of Man Extrax and the most decorated Glop in Michigan history. He has been formally recognized by this website — the highest honor — as a Certified Glopapotomus.
✅ OFFICIAL GLOPAPOTOMUS
🦛

ALWAYS WAS.
ALWAYS WILL BE.
A GLOP.

From the day he was born in 1996 to the moment he became owner of Man Extrax — through all the chaos, the moves, the bad ideas, and the good ones — George has remained, at his core, a Glopapotomus.

We love him anyway.

georgeisaglop.ghozt.site · Est. 2026 · Built with love and absolutely zero regrets